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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 35
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Miguel de Cervantes
In the night all cats are gray.
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Thomas Mann
The only religious way to think of death is as a part and parcel of life to regard it, with the understanding and the emotions, as the inviolable condition of life.
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Dame Edith Sitwell
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
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Adam Smith
The man whose whole life is spent in performing a few simple operations, of which the effects are perhaps always the same, or very nearly the same, has no occasion to exert his understanding or to exercise his invention in finding out expedients for removing difficulties which never occur. He naturally loses, therefore, the habit of such exertion, and generally becomes as stupid and ignorant as it is possible for a human creature to become.
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Theodore Hesburgh
Anyone who refuses to speak out off campus does not deserve to be listened to on campus.
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Herbert Clark Hoover
Wisdom consists not so much in knowing what to do in the ultimate as in knowing what to do next.
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E. R. Hazlip
Friendship is a horizon-- which expands whenever we approach it.
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Harry Emerson Fosdick
Hating people is like burning down your house to get rid of a rat.
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Lord Tennyson
I must lose myself in action, lest I wither in despair.
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Allison Poler
Happiness isn't the easiest thing to find, but one place you're guaranteed to find it is in a friend's smile.
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Publilius Syrus
An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. 'Get down' yelled Uncle Lou. 'Don't move' screamed Grandma. But Grandpa wouldn't listen. He walked to the edge of the roof and stuck out his arms, like he was going to fly. I forget what happened after that.
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