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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Sayings Proverbs and Quotations - 70
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Cicero
All action is of the mind and the mirror of the mind is the face, its index the eyes.
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Heraclitus
A man's character is his fate.
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Stella Terrill Mann
Whatever God's dream about man may be, it seems certain it cannot come true unless man cooperates.
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Edward Gibbon
We improve ourselves by victories over ourself. There must be contests, and you must win.
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Bertrand Russell
Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim.
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Epicurus
Justice is a contract of expediency, entered upon to prevent men harming or being harmed.
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Sir Winston Churchill
Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
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Indian Proverb
Only mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the noonday sun.
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African Proverb
Where there is no shame, there is no honor.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat)
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Old School
Beanie I have a wife and kids. Do I seem like a happy guy to you, Frank
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Amos Bronson Alcott
The true teacher defends his pupils against his own personal influence. He inspires self-distrust. He guides their eyes from himself to the spirit that quickens him. He will have no disciple.
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