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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Funny Quotes - 196
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Abraham Lincoln
You may deceive all the people part of the time, and part of the people all the time, but not all the people all the time.
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J.D. McCoughey
God is dead, but fifty thousand social workers have risen to take his place.
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George Eliot
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us worthy evidence of the fact.
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Ralph Emerson, Nature: Addresses and Lectures
The health of the eye seems to demand a horizon. We are never tired, so long as we can see far enough.
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Mike Godwin
I worry about my child and the Internet all the time, even though she's too young to have logged on yet. Here's what I worry about. I worry that 10 or 15 years from now, she will come to me and say 'Daddy, where were you when they took freedom of the press away from the Internet'
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A. Huxley, Island
Give us this day our daily Faith, but deliver, dear God, from Belief.
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Helen Rowland
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
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John F. Kennedy
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
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Anon.
Winners never quit and quitters never win.
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Kurt Herbert Alder
The only infallible criterion of wisdom to vulgar minds -- success.
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Louis D. Brandeis
Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
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H.H. Munro (Saki)
He is one of those peple who would be enormously improved by death
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