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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 189
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Seneca
One should count each day a separate life.
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John Sladek
The future, according to some scientists, will be exactly like the past, only far more expensive.
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Sir V Pritchett
There is nothing like a coup de foudre and absorption in family responsibility for maturing the male and pulling his scattered wits together.
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William Shakespeare, The Tempest, Act 1 Scene 2
What seest thou else In the dark backward and abysm of time?
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Ernest Hemingway
Never mistake motion for action.
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Benjamin Franklin
Kill no more pigeons than you can eat.
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James Joseph Sylvester
The mathematician lives long and lives young; the wings of his soul do not early drop off, nor do its pores become clogged with the earthy particles blown from the dusty highways of vulgar life.
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Moorish Proverb
He who fears something gives it power over him.
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Samuel Butler
I consider being ill as one of the great pleasures of life, provided one is not too ill.
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Mark Twain
There is no such thing as the Queen's English. The property has gone into the hands of a joint stock company and we own the bulk of the shares
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John Keats, Letter to James Rice, Feb 1820
I muse with the greatest affection on every flower I have known from my infancy - their shapes and colours are as new to me as if I had just created them with a superhuman fancy - It is because they are connected with the most thoughtless and happiest moments of our lives.
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Mahatma Gandhi
Your beliefs become your thoughts. Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your actions. Your actions become your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny.
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