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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Funny Quotes - 193
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Isaac Bashevis Singer
We know what a person thinks not when he tells us what he thinks, but by his actions.
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George Burns
Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out -- and you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot.
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Stephen A. Brennan
Our goal can only be reached through a vehicle of a pain, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.
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Leo J. Burke
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one.
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Jonathan Swift
Faith he must make his stories shorter Or change his comrades once a quarter.
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 3
Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
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John F. Kennedy, Describing a dinner for Nobel Prize winners, 1962
...probably the greatest concentration of talent and genius in this house except for perhaps those times when Thomas Jefferson ate alone.
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Mark McClinchie
Always question. Always analyze. But in the end, suspend judgment until you've been there. Live it to learn it.
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David McClure Brinkley
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.
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William Adams
Most of us are just about as happy as we make up our minds to be.
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William Shakespeare, "King Lear", Act 4 scene 1
The worst is not So long as we can say, This is the worst.
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Everett Dirksen
I am a man of principle, and one of my basic principles is flexibility.
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