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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Online Famous Quotations - 15
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Baltasar Gracian, The Art of Worldly Wisdom, 1647
The sole advantage of power is that you can do more good.
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Confucius
If I am walking with two other men, each of them will serve as my teacher. I will pick out the good points of the one and imitate them, and the bad points of the other and correct them in myself.
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John 174 Bible
I have glorified thee on the earth I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.
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Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
It never ceases to amaze me: we all love ourselves more than other people, but care more about their opinions than our own.
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Herbert Spencer
The great aim of education is not knowledge but action.
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Swordfish
Stan Bad guy can't win. It's a morality tale. One way or the other - he's gotta go down.
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Lord Falkland
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much he made a woman out of dirt and married her. But when he kissed her, she disintegrated. Later, at the funeral, when the preacher said, 'Dust to dust,' some people laughed, and the cowboy shot them. At his hanging, he told the others, 'I'll be waiting for you in heaven---with a gun.'
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Gaius Julius Caesar
He has not learned the lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.
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Richard Whately
To be always thinking about your manners is not the way to make them good; the very perfection of manners is not to think about yourself.
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Carl Jung
Nothing has a stronger influence psychologically on their environment and especially on their children than the unlived life of the parent.
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Mark Twain
The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
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