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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Funny Quotes - 191
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Dennis Miller (told to me by a CV employee)
This place makes Mayberry look like a think tank.
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Miss Piggy
Never eat more than you can lift.
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Oliver Wendell Holmes
Death tugs at my ear and says: Live, I am coming.
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Woodrow Wilson
You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand.
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Unknown
A healthy family is sacred territory.
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Charles M. Schulz
Try not to have a good time...this is supposed to be educational.
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Chinese Proverb
He who hurries can not walk with dignity.
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Norman Fischer
We all need to have a creative outlet - a window, a space - so we don't lose track of ourselves.
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Homer
The fates have given mankind a patient soul.
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Ato Boldon
My performances have finally caught up with my ego.
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Sir William Drummond
He who will not reason is a bigot he who cannot is a fool and he who dares not is a slave.
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Salvador Dali
Repulsion is the sentry that guards the gate to all that we most desire.
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