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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Clever Random Quotes and Sayings - 138

Author Unknown

Where we go and what we do advertises what we are.


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Jim Davis

There are so many opportunities in life, that the loss of two or three capabilities is not necessarily debilitating. A handicap can give you the opportunity to focus more on art, writing, or music.


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Albert Einstein, (attributed)

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.


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Norman Cousins

Life is an adventure in forgiveness.


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Eleanor Roosevelt

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people.


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Sir Thomas Browne

Life is a pure flame, and we live by an invisible sun within us.


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Donald G. Smith

The family seems to have two predominant functions to provide warmth and love in time of need and to drive each other insane.


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Warren Gamaliel Harding

I have no trouble with my enemies. I can take care of my enemies all right. But my damn friends...They're the ones that keep me walking the floor nights


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Barbara Bloom

When the Japanese mend broken objects they aggrandize the damage by filling the cracks with gold, because they believe that when something's suffered damage and has a history it becomes more beautiful.


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Laurence J. Peter, paraphrasing Sir Walter Scott

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to believe.


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Ronald Reagan

The freedom fighters of Nicaragua ... are the moral equal of our Founding Fathers and the brave men and women of the French Resistance.


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Sonia Taitz

What children take from us, they giveWe become people who feel more deeply, question more deeply, hurt more deeply, and love more deeply.



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