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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Quotes and Sayings - 147
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Pablo Picasso
Art washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life.
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Dave Barry, "Sweating Out Taxes"
All the big corporations depreciate their possessions, and you can, too, provided you use them for business purposes. For example, if you subscribe to the Wall Street Journal, a business-related newspaper, you can deduct the cost of your house, because, in the words of U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger in a landmark 1979 tax decision: Where else are you going to read the paper? Outside? What if it rains?
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Kahlil Gibran
Enthusiasm is a volcano on whose top never grows the grass of hesitation.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.
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Isaac Asimov
It pays to be obvious, especially if you have a reputation for subtlety.
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Sonny Bono
Don't cling to fame. You're just borrowing it. It's like money. You're going to die, and somebody else is going to get it.
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2
What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason! how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how express and admirable! in action how like an angel! in apprehension how like a god!
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Galations 69 Bible
And let us not be weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
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Carol Burnett
Words, once they are printed, have a life of their own.
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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do.
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Jerry Coleman
Ozzie Smith just made a play that I have never seen before. And he's done it more times than anyone else.
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Saadi
A little and a little, collected together, become a great deal; the heap in the barn consists of single grains, and drop and drop makes an inundation.
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