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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Quotes and Sayings - 107
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Walter Anderson
Our lives improve only when we take chances -- and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves.
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Niels Henrik David Bohr
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
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Bertrand Russell
Mathematics, rightly viewed, posses not only truth, but supreme beauty - a beauty cold and austere, like that of sculpture.
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Malcolm X
Usually when people are sad, they don't do anything. They just cry over their condition. But when they get angry, they bring about a change.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I think that a hat which has a little cannon that fires and then goes back inside the hat is at least a decade away.
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Mark Twain
In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards
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Sally Field
I was raised to sense what someone wanted me to be and be that kind of person. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.
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W. H. Auden
When I find myself in the company of scientists, I feel like a shabby curate who has strayed by mistake into a room full of dukes.
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Jane Austen
One half of the world can not understand the pleasures of the other.
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William Shakespeare
But then I sigh, and with a piece of scripture,Tell them that God bids us do good for evil.And thus I clothe my naked villainyWith odd old ends stolen forth of holy writ,And seem I a saint, when most I play the Devil.
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John Muir
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
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Peter\'s Almanac
Early to bed and early to rise -- till you get enough money to do otherwise.
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