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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 171
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Amy Vanderbilt
Everyone knows that a man can always marry even if he reaches '102
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Rudyard Kipling
I kep six honest serving-men (They taught me all I knew) Their names are What and Why and When And How and Where and Who.
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R. A. Salvatore, The Crystal Shard
The meekest of animals will fight bravely when it is backed against a wall, for it has nothing left to lose. A poor man is more deadly than a rich man because he puts less value on his own life.
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Robert Townsend
When you get right down to it, one of the most important tasks of a leader is to eliminate his people's excuse for failure.
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B. J. Gupta
Do to others, before they do to you.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Against criticism a man can neither protest nor defend himself he must act in spite of it, and then it will gradually yield to him.
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Unknown
Do not be so quick to judge or label, for one day the objects of ridicule may become what they are ever so used to being seen as. And when this happens it is too late, another soul has fallen to the cruel persecution of todays society and become what they are seen as instead of who they really are. A person, just like everyone else.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go 'Whoa Whoa' and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in.
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Frank Lloyd Wright
An idea is salvation by imagination.
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Herman Melville
We cannot live only for ourselves. A thousand fibers connect us with our fellow men; and among those fibers, as sympathetic threads, our actions run as causes, and they come back to us as effects.
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E. R. Bulwer-Lytton
'It is destiny' - phrase of the weak human heart 'It is destiny' - dark apology for every error The strong and virtuous admit no destiny.
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Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky
Man has such a predilection for systems and abstract deductions that he is ready to distort the truth intentionally, he is ready to deny the evidence of his senses only to justify his logic.
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