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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Quotes and Sayings - 157
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Harry Shearer
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
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Edward Gibbon
Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unskilled in the arts of composition, I resolved to write a book.
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J. Paul Getty
No one can possibly achieve any real and lasting success or get rich in business by being a conformist.
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Muhammad Ali
Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
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John Kenneth Galbraith
If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error.
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Joseph F. Newton
A duty dodged is like a debt unpaid it is only deferred, and we must come back and settle the account at last.
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Albert Einstein
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.
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Frank Sinatra
I feel sorry for people who do not drink. When they wake up in the morning it is as good as they are going to feel all day.
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Judith Stern
Experience: A comb life gives you after you lose your hair.
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Lady Astor
The only thing I like about rich people is their money.
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Jeffery F. Chamberlain
In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything.
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Unknown
Teach children to be polite and courteous in the home, and, when he grows up, he will never be able to edge his car onto a freeway.
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