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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humour Random Quotes and Sayings - 174

Mark Twain

There is nothing training cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. It can turn bad morals to good; it can destroy bad principles and recreate good ones; it can lift men to angelship.


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Unknown

Never complain about growing old, Because so many never get the chance


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Alexander Humboldt

I am more and more convinced that our happiness depends more on how we meet the events in our lives, than on those events themselves.


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Julian Weber Gordon

Courage is more than standing for a firm conviction. It includes the risk of questioning that conviction.


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Dale Carnegie

If you can't sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It's the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.


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Alan Simpson

A society like ours, which professes no one religion and has allowed all religions to decay, which indulges freedom to the point of license and individualism to the point of anarchy, needs all the support that responsible, cultivated homes can furnish. I hope your generation will provide a firmer shelter for civilized standards.


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Lord Jeffery

A good name, like good will, is got by many actions and lost by one.


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Bertolt Brecht

First the grub, then the morals.


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Cornelius Tacitus

It is found by experience that admirable laws and right precedents among the good have their origin in the misdeeds of others.


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Michael Pritchard

No matter how rich you become, how famous or powerful, when you die the size of your funeral will still pretty much depend on the weather.


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Herb Caen

Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything.


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Plato, The Republic

When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income.



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