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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Sarcastic Random Quotes and Sayings - 186
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Thomas Jefferson
The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg.
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Hodding Carter
Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.
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Anonymous
If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.
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Seneca
It is quality rather than quantity that matters.
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Sir Frederick Browning
I think we might be going a bridge too far.
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Unknown
I would rather reach for the stars, Then at least I know That I could never end up with dirt on my hands.
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Publilius Syrus
The judge is condemned when the criminal is absolved.
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George Burns
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
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Euripides
The wisest men follow their own direction.
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Brian K. Blackden, 1996
Justice: To seek it, one must be willing to give up the right to privacy, as nothing more private will become more public.
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Christopher Lasch
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
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John Dewey
Education is life itself.
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