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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Sarcastic Random Quotes and Sayings - 186

Thomas Jefferson

The legitimate powers of government extend to such acts only as are injurious to others. But it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no god. It neither picks my pocket, nor breaks my leg.


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Hodding Carter

Television news is like a lightning flash. It makes a loud noise, lights up everything around it, leaves everything else in darkness and then is suddenly gone.


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Anonymous

If you chase two rabbits, both will escape.


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Seneca

It is quality rather than quantity that matters.


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Sir Frederick Browning

I think we might be going a bridge too far.


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Unknown

I would rather reach for the stars, Then at least I know That I could never end up with dirt on my hands.


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Publilius Syrus

The judge is condemned when the criminal is absolved.


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George Burns

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.


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Euripides

The wisest men follow their own direction.


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Brian K. Blackden, 1996

Justice: To seek it, one must be willing to give up the right to privacy, as nothing more private will become more public.


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Christopher Lasch

Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.


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John Dewey

Education is life itself.



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