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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Quotes and Sayings - 98
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Bill Watterson
Some people are pragmatists, taking things as they come and making the best of the choices available. Some people are idealists, standing for principle and refusing to compromise. And some people just act on any whim that enters their heads. I pragmatically turn my whims into principles - Calvin
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William Shakespeare
Et tu, Brute
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HP Lovecraft, Quoting the Necronomicon, in The Nameless City
That is not dead which can eternal lie And with strange aeons even death may die.
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Edgar Allan Poe, The Premature Burial
There are certain themes of which the interest is all-absorbing, but which are too entirely horrible for the purposes of legitimate fiction.
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Meister Eckhart
Only the hand that erases can write the true thing.
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Carl Sandburg
Nothing happens unless first a dream.
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Anthony D\'Angelo
Develop a passion for learning. If you do, you will never cease to grow.
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Dr. Viktor E Frankl
Only to the extent that someone is living out this self transcendence of human existence, is he truly human or does he become his true self. He becomes so, not by concerning himself with his self's actualization, but by forgetting himself and giving himself, overlooking himself and focusing outward.
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Bertrand Russell
Religion is something left over from the infancy of our intelligence, it will fade away as we adopt reason and science as our guidelines.
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Judy Tenuta
Have you ever dated someone because you were too lazy to commit suicide?
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Arnold Bennett
A man of sixty has spent twenty years in bed and over three years in eating.
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Isaiah 401-8 Bible
Comfort ye, my people speak ye peace, thus saith our God. Comfort those who sit in darkness, mourning 'neath their sorrow's load. For the glory of the Lord now o'er earth is shed abroad and all flesh shall see the token that His word is never broken.
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