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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
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Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 111
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Cicero, De Legibus
Let the punishment match the offense.
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Stephen Crane, The Red Badge of Courage, chapter 8
He saw that it was an ironical thing for him to be running thus toward that which he had been at such pains to avoid. But he said, in substance, to himself that if the earth and the moon were about to clash, many people would doubtless plan to get upon the roofs to witness the collision.
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Cornelius Stam
We are living in a day of self-seeking and irresponsibility, even in Christian circles. Few indeed are the Christian believers who have truly laid their all on the altar for Christ. Few are the spiritual leaders who truly put God FIRST . Rather they think first, albeit subconsciously, of their positions, popularity, salaries and the success of the organizations over which they preside. While professing strong allegiance to God and His Word, they are nevertheless careful not to emphasize those passages from the Word which might ruffle feathers or rock the boat, as we say. In spite of their professed fidelity to God's Word and will, their first objective is actually to keep their organizations running smoothly and pleasantly so that they may continue to grow in numbers. This has become a way of life in Christendom, but in this matter too we should 'search the Scriptures daily,' to determine whether these things have God's approval, for however good and right a thing may seem, if it is at variance with the Word, rightly divided, it is contrary to the will of God and therefore wrong.
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Oscar Levant
Happiness isn't something you experience it's something you remember.
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Alexander Hamilton
The sacred rights of mankind are not to be rummaged for among old parchments or musty records. They are written, as with a sunbeam, in the whole volume of human nature, by the hand of the divinity itself and can never be erased.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
We have talked long enough in this country about equal rights. ... It is time now to write the next chapter-and to write it in the books of law.
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Aristotle
To give a satisfactory decision as to the truth it is necessary to be rather an arbitrator than a party to the dispute.
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John Calvin
The Fanaticism which discards the Scripture, under the pretense of resorting to immediate revelations is subversive of every principle of Christianity. For when they boast extravagantly of the Spirit, the tendency is always to bury the Word of God so they may make room for their own falsehoods.
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Edmund Burke
Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.
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Walter Dale Langtry
The primary task of the Church is not to mend the manners of the community, but to proclaim the matchless Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. When men hear that Gospel and believe it, their lives will give evidence of their faith.
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Paul Eldridge
In the spider-web of facts, many a truth is strangled.
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Katherine Mansfield
I am treating you as my friend asking you share my present minuses in the hope I can ask you to share my future pluses.
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