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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 159
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Joseph Bonaparte
There is no legitimacy on earth but in a government which is the choice of the nation.
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William John Bennett
The elementary school must assume as its sublime and most solemn responsibility the task of teaching every child in it to read. Any school that does not accomplish this has failed.
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G.K. Chesterton
The only people who seem to have nothing to do with the education of the children are the parents.
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John Owen
Mortification from a self-strength, carried on by ways of self-invention, unto the end of a self-righteousness, is the soul and substnace of all false religion in the world.
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Peter Handke
I couldn't say who I am, I haven't the remotest notion of myself I am someone without antecedents, without a history, without a country, and on that I insist
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Pliny the Elder, Natural History
The best plan is to profit by the folly of others.
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Thomas B. Reed
A statesman is a successful politician who is dead.
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Voltaire
Regimen is superior to medicine.
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Andrew Schneider
They didn't need men because they had each other, a significant other. It doesn't matter if the cat's in pants or pedal-pushers. I don't think we're supposed to fly solo.
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Jack William Nicklaus
Learn the fundamentals of the game and stick to them. Band-Aid remedies never last.
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Logan Pearsall Smith
To suppose, as we all suppose, that we could be rich and not behave as the rich behave, is like supposing that we could drink all day and keep absolutely sober.
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Barry Switzer
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
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