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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 131

William Shakespeare

'Tis neither here nor there.


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Bernd Brecher

There are many elements to a campaign. Leadership is number one. Everything else is number two.


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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 2 scene 2

The devil hath power To assume a pleasing shape.


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Horace

To flee vice is the beginning of virtue, and to have got rid of folly is the beginning of wisdom.


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Minnie Haskins

And I said to the one who stood at the gate of the year, 'Give me a light that I may tread safely into the Unknown.' And he replied, 'Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.'


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Evelyn Underhill

Every minute you are thinking of evil, you might have been thinking of good instead. Refuse to pander to a morbid interest in your own misdeeds. Pick yourself up, be sorry, shake yourself, and go on again.


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Alexander Pope

Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.


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Maya Angelou

While the rest of the world has been improving technology, Ghana has been improving the quality of man's humanity to man.


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Blaise Pascal

Let us weigh the gain and the loss, in wagering that God is. Consider these alternatives: if you win, you win all, if you lose you lose nothing. Do not hesitate, then, to wager that he is.


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Heda Bejar

The fragrance always remains in the hand that gives the rose.


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Alexander Solzhenitsyn

If one is forever cautious, can one remain a human being?


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Will Rogers, Newspaper article, Feb. 15, 1925

Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is.



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