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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Quotes and Sayings - 123
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Confucius
I do not want a friend Who smiles when I smile Who weeps when I weep For my shadow in the pool Can do better than that.
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G. K. Chesterton
Brave men are all vertebrates they have their softness on the surface and their toughness in the middle.
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Mark Twain
Providence protects children and idiots. I know because I have tested it.
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Jerry Coleman
A day without newspapers is like walking around without your pants on.
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G. K. Chesterton
A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author.
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G. K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
Tradition means giving votes to the most obscure of all classes, our ancestors. It is the democracy of the dead. Tradition refuses to submit to the small and arrogant oligarchy of those who merely happen to be walking about.
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Katharine Whitehorn
A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat.
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Pablo Picasso
Some painters transform the sun into a yellow spot, others transform a yellow spot into the sun.
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Mark Twain
It is noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others--and less trouble. - speech, 1906
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William Shakespeare
Each present joy or sorrow seems the chief.
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Thucydides
We secure our friends not by accepting favors but by doing them.
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Albert Einstein
Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs.
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