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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes and Sayings - 125
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Horace
He wins every hand who mingles profit with pleasure.
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George Bernard Shaw
The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man.
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Hunter S. Thompson, The Proud Highway
A man who procrastinates in his choosing will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.
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Will Rogers
I bet you if I had met him Trotsky and had a chat with him, I would have found him a very interesting and human fellow, for I never yet met a man that I didn't like.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
If you wished to be loved, love.
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Lucius Annaeus Seneca
Liesure without books is death, and burial of a man alive.
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Barbara Hall
They're slobbery and they're whiney and they look at you just like they could see right into your soul and they're unpredictable and the smell and they're noisy and the world revolves around them and why I don't get it. They're not interesting. They can't tell jokes, they don't have opinions, and they're boring, you know They're just boring and annoying and I don't want to have one.
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Andrew Schneider
A person has three choices in life. You can swim against the tide and get exhausted, or you can tread water and let the tide sweep you away, or you can swim with the tide, and let it take you where it wants you to go.
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Publilius Syrus
It is more tolerable to be refused than deceived.
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Aristotle
The best political community is formed by citizens of the middle class.
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Jeff Melvoin
Rain usually makes me feel mellow. Curl up in the corner time, slow down, smell the furniture. Today it just makes me feel wet.
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Thomas B. Macaulay
The maxim that people should not have a right till they are ready to exercise it properly, is worthy of the fool in the old story who resolved not to go into the water till he had learned to swim.
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