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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 170
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Max Beerbohm
Nobody ever died of laughter.
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Pete Holiday
Capitalism needs to function like a game of tug-of-war. Two opposing sides need to continually struggle for dominance, but at no time can either side be permitted to walk away with the rope.
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Robert Anthony, Great American Poets 2004
In an information world where we all have someday to say it is important to remember that sometimes we need to listen.
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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If I come back as an animal in my next lifetime, I hope it's some type of parasite, because this is the part where I take it EAS
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Julius Robert Oppenheimer
There are children playing in the street who could solve some of my top problems in physics, because they have modes of sensory perception that I lost long ago.
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Henry David Thoreau
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
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Cicero
Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it.
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Liberace
Nobody will believe in you unless you believe in yourself.
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Jim Grue
It is no disgrace to be poor, but it might as well be.
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Bill Vaughan
A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
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La Rochefoucauld
True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.
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Gerald Weinberg, "The Psychology of Computer Programming"
We have come through a strange cycle in programming, starting with the creation of programming itself as a human activity. Executives with the tiniest smattering of knowledge assume that anyone can write a program, and only now are programmers beginning to win their battle for recognition as true professionals. Not just anyone, with any background, or any training, can do a fine job of programming. Programmers know this, but then why is it that they think that anyone picked off the street can do documentation? One has only to spend an hour looking at papers written by graduate students to realize the extent to which the ability to communicate is not universally held. And so, when we speak about computer program documentation, we are not speaking about the psychology of computer programming at all - except insofar as programmers have the illusion that anyone can do a good job of documentation, provided he is not smart enough to be a programmer.
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