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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 189
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Peter McWilliams, Life 101
Acceptance is such an important commodity, some have called it the first law of personal growth.
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Colin Greenwood
In none of the cases examined in this study was the existence of these gun registration records of any assistance in detecting a crime and no one questioned during the course of this study could offer any evidence to establish the value of the system of registering weapons.
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Marlo Thomas
Fame lost its appeal for me when I went into a public restroom and an autograph seeker handed me a pen and paper under the stall door.
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Theodore Roosevelt
Rhetoric is a poor substitute for action, and we have trusted only to rhetoric. If we are really to be a great nation, we must not merely talk we must act big.
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Thomas Fuller
Many would be cowards if they had courage enough.
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James Dale Davidson
The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless. When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.
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Mother Theresa
We think sometimes that poverty is only being hungry, naked and homeless. The poverty of being unwanted, unloved and uncared for is the greatest poverty. We must start in our own homes to remedy this kind of poverty.
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Orson Scott Card
Your work is first, learning is first, winning is everything because without it there is nothing.
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James Madison
... Religion ... is the basis and foundation of government ... before any man can be considered as a member of civil society, he must be considered as a subject of the Governor of the Universe.
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Joseph Addison, Cato
Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man.
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Rush Hour
Carter This is the LAPD. We're the most hated cops in all the free world. My own mama's ashamed of me. She tells everybody I'm a drug dealer.
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Friedrich Nietzsche
The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.
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