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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 129

Earl Nightingale

People are where they are because that is exactly where they really want to be - whether they will admit that or not.


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Democritus

Nothing exists except atoms and empty space;everything else is opinion.


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Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire

To hold a pen is to be at war.


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Quintus Septimius Tertullianus, De Carne Christi

Out of the frying pan into the fire.


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Mark Twain

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself.


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Shakti Gawain

I am convinced that life in a physical body is meant to be an ecstatic experience.


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William Strunk Jr., Elements of Style

Vigorous writing is concise. A sentence should contain no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason that a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no unnecessary parts. This requires not that the writer make all his sentences short, or that he avoid all detail and treat his subjects only in outline, but that every word tell.


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William Safire

I want my questions answered by an alert and experienced politician, prepared to be grilled and quoted-not my hand held by an old smoothie.


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Marshall McLuhan

There is absolutely no inevitability as long as there is a willingness to contemplate what is happening.


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Deepak Chopra

Anything that is of value in life only multiplies when it is given.


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Ben Johnson

Talking and eloquence are not the same to speak and to speak well are two things. A fool may talk, but a wise man speaks.


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Anatole Broyard

There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.



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