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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 110
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Andrew Schneider
Well, you're either lovers or you're wanting to be lovers or you're trying not to be lovers so you can be friends, but any way you look at it, sex is always looming in the picture like a shadow, like an undertow.
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Dame Rose Macauley
It is a common delusion that you can make things better by talking about them.
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Paul Simon
Some people never say the words 'I love you' It's not their style to be so bold. Some people never say those words 'I love you' But, like a child, they're longing to be told.
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J. R. R Tolkien, Elrond from The Lord of the Rings
Yet such is oft the course of deeds that move the wheels of the world: small hands do them becuase they must, while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.
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Oscar Wilde
One is tempted to define man as a rational animal who always loses his temper when he is called upon to act in accordance with the dictates of reason.
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Bob Seger
there will always be pressures and time sin your life when you'll need answers, but coke and the rest offer nothing -- no outlet, no information. And, believe me, you're only as good as your information.
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Alice Kahn
For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
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Laertius Diogenes
I am a citizen of the world.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
A man should learn to detect and watch that gleam that flashes across his mind from within, more than the lustre of the firmament of bards and sages. Yet he dismisses without notice his own thought, because it is his. In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts they come back to us with a sort of alienated majesty.
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Edgar Albert Guest
It matters not what goal you seek Its secret here reposes You've got to dig from week to week To get Results or Roses.
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Vaclav Havel
Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for .success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.
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Aretha Franklin
It's so glamorous, you have to see it. (describing the 92 million Rock & Roll Hall of Fame)
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