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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Quotes and Sayings - 145
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William Hazlitt
To be capable of steady friendship or lasting love, are the two greatest proofs, not only of goodness of heart, but of strength of mind.
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Herb Caen
The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever.
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Kareem Abdul-Jabar
I've had enough success for two lifetimes, My success is talent put together with hard work and luck.
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Henry David Thoreau, Walden (1854)
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
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Bertrand Russell
Men are born ignorant, not stupid; they are made stupid by education.
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J. William Fulbright, Speech to the American Newspaper Publishers Assn. April 28, 1966
The citizen who criticizes his country is paying it an implied tribute.
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Edward De Bono
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
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Gioacchino Rosini
How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
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Boris Marshalov
Congress is so strange. A man gets up to speak and says nothing. Nobody listens -- and then everybody disagrees.
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George Carlin
As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
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Charles M. Schulz
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, Where have I gone wrong Then a voice says to me, This is going to take more than one night.
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Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat
Nothing in all the world is so nonsensical and contradictory, save mortals, that is, who live in the grip of the superstitions of the past.
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