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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Quotes and Sayings - 97
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Lyndon B. Johnson
Our numbers have increased in Vietnam because the aggression of others has increased in Vietnam. There is not, and there will not be, a mindless escalation.
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Alexander Pope
Some people will never learn anything, for this reason, because they understand everything too soon.
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Quentin Crisp
Decency...must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep.
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Herbert Clark Hoover
Many years ago, I concluded that a few hair shirts were part of the mental wardrobe of every man. The president differs from other men in that he has a more extensive wardrobe.
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Albert Einstein
The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax.
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Mary H. Waldrip
A laugh is a smile that bursts.
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George Bernard Shaw
A pessimist thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.
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Stanislaw J. Lec
Each snowflake in an avalanche pleads not guilty.
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John Tudor
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
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Charles R. Swindoll
The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude to me is more important than facts.... We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10 percent what happens to me and 90 percent how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our attitudes.
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William Shakespeare
True is it that we have seen better days.
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Geoffrey F. Albert
One who's our friend is fond of us one who's fond of us isn't necessarily our friend.
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