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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 109

Elie Wiesel, The Perils of Indifference

And, therefore, indifference is always the friend of the enemy, for it benefits the aggressor -- never its victim, whose pain is magnified when he or she feels forgotten.


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Assyrian Proverb

Ask a lot, but take what is offered.


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Joseph Addison

When men are easy in their circumstances, they are naturally enemies to innovations.


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Titus Livius

The populace is like the sea motionless in itself, but stirred by every wind, even the lightest breeze.


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Pearl Bailey

What the world really needs is more love and less paperwork.


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R. M. Grenon

Goodbye, goodbye, I hate the word. Solitude has long since turned brown and withered, sitting bitter in my mouth and heavy in my veins.


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Author Unknown

If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, just what does an empty desk mean?


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Mark Twain

A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title --from The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson


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Douglas Noel Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.


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Hans Margolius

Only in quiet waters do things mirror themselves undistorted. Only in a quiet mind is adequate perception of the world.


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Johann von Goethe

If your treat an individual ... as if he were what he ought to be and could be, he will become what he ought to be and could be.


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Chrysippus

Thought is the fountain of speech.



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