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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Quotes and Sayings - 130
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George Bernard Shaw
A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.
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Woody Allen
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick -- not wounded -- dead.
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Denis Watley
As long as we are persistence in our pursuit of our deepest destiny, we will continue to grow. We cannot choose the day or time when we will fully bloom. It happens in its own time.
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Henry Ward Beecher
Compassion will cure more sins than condemnation.
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H Hahn Blavatsky
Live neither in the present nor the future, but in the eternal. The giant weed (of evil) cannot flower there this blot upon existence is wiped out by the very atmosphere of eternal thought.
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Vaclav Havel
Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.
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Robert F. Kennedy, 1966 speech
Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world which yields most painfully to change.
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Andre Malraux
The basic problem is that our civilization, which is a civilization of machines, can teach man everything except how to be a man.
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Albert Camus
You are forgiven for your happiness and your successes only if you generously consent to share them.
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Bill Bryson
He had the sort of face that makes you realize God does have a sense of humor.
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Frederick Buechner
The grace of God means something like Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It's for you I created the universe. I love you. There's only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.
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Thomas Henry Huxley
The rung of a ladder was never meant to rest upon, but only to hold a man's foot long enough to enable him to put the other somewhat higher.
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