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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Crazy Random Quotes and Sayings - 113
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John McCain
This is obviously an act of war that has been committed on the United States. referring to the September '11
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Fred Allen
If the grass is greener in the other fellow's yard - let him worry about cutting it.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
What starts the process, really, are laughs and slights and snubs when you are a kid. ... If your anger is deep enough and strong enough, you learn that you can change those attitudes by excellence, personal gut performance.
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Lee Iacocca
Incompetency begets incompetency. The last thing a guy who isn't sure of himself wants is a guy backing him up who is sure of himself.
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Peter de Gaston Levis
To judge the real importance of an individual, we should think of the effect his death would produce.
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Robert Frost
You can be a rank insider as well as a rank outsider.
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Ronald Reagan
I'll be like Scarlett O'Hara-I'll think about it tomorrow.
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H. G. Wells, H. G. Wells Society
Religion is pickled God.
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Douglas Noel Adams
A computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about. (from Mostly Harmless)
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G. E. Lessing
One single grateful thought raised to heaven is the most perfect prayer.
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Nora Ephron
Insane people are always sure that they are fine. It is only the sane people who are willing to admit that they are crazy.
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Samuel Goldwyn
Spare no expense to save money on this one.
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