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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 119
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William Shakespeare
Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance.
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George Eliot
The important work of moving the world forward does not wait to be done by perfect men.
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Author Unknown
Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried.
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William Hazlitt
The contemplation of truth and beauty is the proper object for which we were created, which calls forth the most intense desires of the soul, and of which it never tires.
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Conan Doyle
A man should keep his little brain attic stocked with all the furniture that he is likely to need, and the rest he can put away in the lumber room of his library, where he can get it if he wants it.
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Voltaire
Use, do not abuse neither abstinence nor excess ever renders man happy.
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Ronald Reagan
My belief has always been ... that wherever in this land any individual's constitutional rights are being unjustly denied, it is the obligation of the federal government-at point of bayonet if necessary-to restore that individual's constitutional rights.
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Samuel Johnson
Abstinence is as easy to me, as temperance would be difficult.
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Anais Nin
The personal, if it is deep enough, becomes universal, mythical, symbolic.
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Blaise Pascal
Since we cannot know all that there is to be known about anything, we ought to know a little about everything.
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Natalie Goldberg, O Magazine, October 2002
Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency. Nothing is that important.
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General Douglas MacArthur
There is no security on this earth, there is only opportunity.
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