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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Very Funny Random Funny Quotes - 120

Lazarus Long

100 invested at 7 interest for 100 years will become '100


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Henry David Thoreau

I once had a sparrow alight upon my shoulder for a moment, while I was hoeing in a village garden, and I felt that I was more distinguished by that circumstance that I should have been by any epaulet I could have worn.


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John Andrew Holmer

There is no exercise better for the heart than reaching down and lifting people up.


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Albert E. Cliffe

We get new ideas from God every hour of our day when we put our trust in Him -- but we have to follow that inspiration up with perspiration -- we have to work to prove our faith. Remember that the bee that hangs around the hive never gets any honey.


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John Adams

I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce, and agriculture, in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.


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Unknown

Yesterday's failures are today's seeds That must be diligently planted to be able to abundantly harvest Tomorrow's success.


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Johann von Goethe

Love grants in a moment what toil can hardly achieve in an age.


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Robert Cecil

Solitude shows us what should be; society shows us what we are.


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Eric Pio

A family, although not a necessity, is the ultimate luxury.


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Charles Luckman

Success is that old ABC -- ability, breaks, and courage.


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Terence

Of my friends, I am the only one I have left.


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Mark Twain

I never let schooling interfere with my education.



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