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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Funny Quotes - 38
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James Grover Thurber
All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first.
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Peter De Vries
The murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.
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Walt Whitman
I see great things in baseball. It's our game--the American game. It will take our people out-of-doors, fill them with oxygen, give them a larger physical stoicism. Tend to relieve us from being a nervous, dyspeptic set. Repair these losses, and be a blessing to us.
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Dorthea Bragg
All that is necessary to break the spell of inertia and frustration is this Act as if it were impossible to fail. That is the talisman, the formula, the command of right-about-face which turns us from failure towards success.
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Lord Chesterfield
Be wiser than other people, if you can, but do not tell them so.
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Bertrand Russell
Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
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Euripedes, Medea
Let no one think of me that I am humble or weak or passive; let them understand I am of a different kind: dangerous to my enemies, loyal to my friends. To such a life glory belongs.
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Aldous Huxley
A country which proposes to make use of modern war as an instrument of policy must possess a highly centralized, all-powerful executive, hence the absurdity of talking about the defense of democracy by force of arms. A democracy which makes or effectively prepares for modern scientific war must necessarily cease to be democratic.
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John Fredericksen
The age of Grace began in mid-Acts, after the conversion of the Apostle Paul. It is through his letters alone that we learn about the dispensation of Grace, about Israel being set aside, with Jew and Gentile being saved into the Body of Christ. It was Paul who taught 'all the Jews which are among the Gentiles to forsake Moses' (Acts 2121). It was also Paul who proclaimed the forgiveness of sins 'to all who would believe' in Christ, adding that 'ye could not be justified by the law of Moses' (Acts 1338-39). The measuring rod of grace tells us that the age of Grace began with Paul, then continued through those who were saved and subsequently carried on His God-given doctrines of grace.
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Hermann Hesse
When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane.
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John Donne
Our fear of death is like our fear that summer will be short, but when we have had our swing of pleasure, our fill of fruit, and our swelter of heat, we say we have had our day.
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Josephine demott Robinson, O Magazine, December 2003
My one aim was to do a thing well and to excel if possible.
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