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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Funny Quotes - 115
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William Shakespeare, "Hamlet", Act 1 scene 5
Every man has business and desire, Such as it is.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of our own mind.
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William Shakespeare, "King John", Act 5 scene 7
This England never did, nor never shall, Lie at the proud foot of a conqueror.
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Farnsworth Crowder
In the South of California has gathered the larges and most miscellaneous assortment of Messiahs, Sorcerers, Saints and Seers known to the history of aberrations.
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Stan Lee, Spider-Man comic
With great power comes great responsibility.
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Anonymous
Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.
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Proverbs 2717 Bible
As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countance of his friend.
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Patrick Henry
Guard with jealous attention the public liberty. Suspect everyone who approaches that jewel. Unfortunately, nothing will preserve it but downright force. Whenever you give up that force, you are inevitably ruined.
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Indira Nehru Gandhi
My grandfather once told me that there were two kinds of people those who do the work and those who take the credit. He told me to try to be in the first group there was much less competition.
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Aesop
Plodding wins the race.
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Billie Holiday
You've got to have something to eat and a little love in your life before you can hold still for any damn body's sermon on how to behave.
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H. Ross Perot
If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes.
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