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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Funny Quotes - 22
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Sophocles
The ideal condition Would be, I admit, that men should be right by instinct But since we are all likely to go astray, The reasonable thing is to learn from those who can teach.
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Socrates
Regard your good name as the richest jewel you can possibly be possessed of - for credit is like fire when once you have kindled it you may easily preserve it, but if you once extinguish it, you will find it an arduous task to rekindle it again. The way to gain a good reputation is to endeavor to be what you desire to appear.
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Martin Mull
Human beings are seventy percent water, and with some the rest is collagen.
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Paul Valery
A man is infinitely more complicated than his thoughts.
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Mark Twain
I must have a prodigious quantity of mind it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up.
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HP Lovecraft, From Beyond
I have harnessed the shadows that stride from world to world to sow death and madness...
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Eric A. Burns, Gossamer Commons, 08-24-05
Humanity can be quite cold to those whose eyes see the world differently.
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Alfred Austin
So long as faith with freedom reigns And loyal hope survives,
And gracious charity remains
To leaven lowly lives;
While there is one untrodden tract
For intellect or will,
And men are free to think and act,
Life is worth living still.
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Henry Kissinger
Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad reputation.
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Laurence J. Peter
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
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Fran Lebowitz
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
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Johnny Carson
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
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