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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 9

Juvenal

Be gentle with the young.


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Oliver Herford

Darling: the popular form of address used in speaking to a person of the opposite sex whose name you cannot at the moment recall


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Thomas Merton

It is in the ordinary duties and labors of life that the Christian can and should develop his spiritual union with God.


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Euripides, Alcestis, 438 B.C.

A second wifeis hateful to the children of the first;a viper is not more hateful.


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William James

There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.


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Pablo Picasso

I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it.


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Ralph Waldo Emerson

The wise through excess of wisdom is made a fool.


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Dr. Lillian Troll

Always have some project under way . . . an ongoing project that goes over from day to day and thus makes each day a smaller unit of time.


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Robert Orben

I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.


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Lois McMaster Bujold, "Memory", 1996

His mother had often said, When you choose an action, you choose the consequences of that action. She had emphasized the corollary of this axiom even more vehemently: when you desired a consequence you had damned well better take the action that would create it.


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Michel de Montaigne

Even on the highest throne in the world, we are still sitting on our ass.


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Frank Moore Colby

Persecution was at least a sign of personal interest. Tolerance is composed of nine parts apathy to one of brotherly love.



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