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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 139
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W. Somerset Maugham
When you have loved as she has loved, you grow old beautifully.
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Walter Cronkite
In seeking truth you have to get both sides of a story.
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Ancient Egyptian Blessing
God be between you and harm in all the empty places where you must walk.
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Opera producer Larry Kelly
Do it big or stay in bed.
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Latin Proverb
Never give a child a sword.
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Frank L. Boyden
I never reprimand a boy in the evening-darkness and a troubled mind are a poor combination.
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Robert Francis Kennedy
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes.
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Vicomte Turenne, Message sent after the battle of Dunen, 658
The enemy came. He was beaten. I am tired. Goodnight.
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Cornelius Tacitus
He had a certain frankness and generosity, qualities indeed which turn to a man's ruin, unless tempered with discretion.
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Sir John Denham
Books should to one of these fours ends conduce, for wisdom, piety, delight, or use.
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Sir Winston Churchill, Radio speech, 1941
Here is the answer which I will give to President Roosevelt... We shall not fail or falter; we shall not weaken or tire. Neither the sudden shock of battle nor the long-drawn trials of vigilance and exertion will wear us down. Give us the tools and we will finish the job.
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Roger Anderson
Christ's first coming was to fulfill a mission, a purpose. He came to suffer, die, and be raised again. These happened and yielded results effective for the present time and into eternity.
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