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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Funny Quotes - 111
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George Bernard Shaw
You'll never have a quiet world till you knock the patriotism out of the human race.
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Elain Heffner
The art of mothering is to teach the art of living to children.
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Oscar Wilde
The only charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception necessary for both parties.
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Andrew Schneider
Greetings on this most exceedingly beautiful spring morning. A morning swollen with new life, a morning on which, if I had the voice, I would let loose with song. It's hard to believe just a few short weeks ago we were eating our cornflakes in the wintery dark. Now, well it's still kind of dim out there, but I can see the golden glow of Apollo's chariot waiting in the wings, about to make its entrance. Winter's on the lam, no doubt.
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Thomas Jefferson
Democracy is 51% of the people taking away the rights of the other 49%.
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Seneca
We most often go astray on a well trodden and much frequented road.
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Mary Wortley Montagu
Life is too short for a long story.
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James Magary
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up.
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Jane Wagner
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
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Philip R. Zimmermann
If privacy is outlawed, only outlaws will have privacy.
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Anonymous
Diversity is the one true thing we all have in common. Celebrate it every day.
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Benjamin Disraeli
Whenever is found what is called a paternal government, there is found state education. It has been discovered that the best way to ensure implicit obedience is to commence tyranny in the nursery.
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