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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Very Funny Random Funny Quotes - 20
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Joyce Brothers
No matter how much pressure you feel at work, if you could find ways to relax for at least five minutes every hour, you'd be more productive.
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Nadine Stair
If I had my life to live over... I'd dare to make more mistakes next time.
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Hector Hugh Munro
He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
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H. L. Mencken
In the United States, doing good has come to be, like patriotism, a favorite device of persons with something to sell.
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David Starr Jordan
Be life long or short, its completeness depends on what it was lived for.
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Washington Irving
Christmas is a season for kindling the fire for hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.
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David Ogilvie
The best ideas come from jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.
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Lee Iacocca
People want economy and they will pay any price to get it.
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Charles Caleb Colton, Lacon, 1825
Riches may enable us to confer favours, but to confer them with propriety and grace requires a something that riches cannot give.
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John Peter Zenger
No nation ancient or modern ever lost the liberty of freely speaking, writing, or publishing their sentiments, but forthwith lost their liberty in general and became slaves.
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Laurie Anderson
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
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Alfred E. Wiggam
A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time.
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