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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Funny Quotes - 125
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Author Unknown
A patient man is one who can put up with himself.
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Jane Wagner
All my life I wanted to be someone I guess I should have been more specific.
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Azel Backus
Error always addresses the passions and prejudices; truth scorns such mean intrigue, and only addresses the understanding and the conscience.
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A. E. Housman
In every American there is an air of incorrigible innocence, which seems to conceal a diabolical cunning.
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Richard Milhous Nixon
While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offense... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart.
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John Kenneth Galbraith
The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of thinking.
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Samuel Johnson
We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over so in a series of kindness there is at last one which makes the heart run over.
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"Swedish Proverb"
Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours.
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Arthur Schopenhauer
Honor has not to be won; it must only not be lost.
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Edward B. Butler
One man has enthusiasm for 30 minutes, another for 30 days, but it is the man who has it for 30 years who makes a success of his life.
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George Santayana
Culture is on the horns of this dilemma if profound and noble it must remain rare, if common it must become mean.
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Jane E. Brody
Turn your midlife crisis to your own advantage by making it a time for renewal of your body and mind, rather than stand by helplessly and watch them decline.
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