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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Crazy Random Funny Quotes - 53

Latin Proverb

Love is a kind of military service.


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Ted Williams

The only thing dumber than a pitcher is two pitchers.


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John F. Kennedy

There are risks and costs to a program of action. But they are far less than the long-range risks and costs of comfortable inaction.


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Chuang-tzu, On Leveling All Things

Great wisdom is generous; petty wisdom is contentious. Great speech is impassioned, small speech cantankerous.


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Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield

In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge.


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Mae West

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.


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Philip Dormer Stanhope Chesterfield

Man is more himself, man is more manlike, when joy is the fundamental thing in him, and grief the superficial.


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Josiah Quincy

When you have a number of disagreeable duties to perform, always do the most disagreeable first.


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African Proverb

However long the night, the dawn will break.


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Robert Louis Stephenson

The difficulty of literature is not to write, but to write what you mean not to affect your reader, but to affect him precisely as you wish.


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Maitri Upanishads

As a spider emits and draws in its thread, As plants arise on the earth, As the hairs of the head and body from a living person, So from The Eternal arises everything here.


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Martin Luther

I would not give one moment of heaven for all the joy and riches of the world, even if it lasted for thousands and thousands of years.



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