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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Humorous Random Funny Quotes - 75

Roger Zelazny

Any man would be forsworn to gain a kingdom.


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Richard Olton

When I held you in my arms at your baptism, I wanted it to be a fresh start, for you to be more complete than we had ever been ourselves, but I wonder if we expected too much.


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Jesse Louis Jackson

We must not measure greatness from the mansion down, but from the manger up.


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Plutarch

It is certainly desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors.


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Henry David Thoreau

To a philosopher all news, as it is called, is gossip, an they who edit and read it are old women over their tea.


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Ernest Hemingway, "The Old Man and the Sea"

Humility is not disgraceful, and carries no loss of true pride.


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Peter Ustinov

Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.


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F. Scott Fitzgerald

The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.


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Adele Brookman

Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life.


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Dwight D Eisenhower

Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.


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Michel de Montaigne

He who establishes his argument by noise and command, shows that his reason is weak.


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Unknown

Serious Sincere Systematic Service Surely Secures Supreme Success.



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