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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Funny Quotes - 75
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Roger Zelazny
Any man would be forsworn to gain a kingdom.
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Richard Olton
When I held you in my arms at your baptism, I wanted it to be a fresh start, for you to be more complete than we had ever been ourselves, but I wonder if we expected too much.
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Jesse Louis Jackson
We must not measure greatness from the mansion down, but from the manger up.
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Plutarch
It is certainly desirable to be well descended, but the glory belongs to our ancestors.
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Henry David Thoreau
To a philosopher all news, as it is called, is gossip, an they who edit and read it are old women over their tea.
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Ernest Hemingway, "The Old Man and the Sea"
Humility is not disgraceful, and carries no loss of true pride.
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Peter Ustinov
Beliefs are what divide people. Doubt unites them.
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F. Scott Fitzgerald
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
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Adele Brookman
Use your imagination not to scare yourself to death but to inspire yourself to life.
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Dwight D Eisenhower
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
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Michel de Montaigne
He who establishes his argument by noise and command, shows that his reason is weak.
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Unknown
Serious Sincere Systematic Service Surely Secures Supreme Success.
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