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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funny Random Funny Quotes - 101
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Pamela Ribon
Having a holiday weekend without a family member felt like putting on a sweater that had an extra arm.
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Carl Reiner
A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.
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Aldous Huxley
Words form the thread on which we string our experiences.
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Greek Proverb
Observe your enemies, for they first find your faults.
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William Shakespeare
Sweet are the uses of adversity, which, like a toad, though ugly and venomous, wears yet a precious jewel in its head.
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Jack Benny
I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.
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Walter Wangerin, Jr., Book of the Dun Cow
It is entirely possible to win against the enemy, it is possible, even, to kill the enemy... and still be defeated by the battle.
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H. P. Lovecraft
Almost nobody dances sober, unless they happen to be insane.
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Thorstein Veblen
The outcome of any serious research can only be to make two questions grow where only one grew before.
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James Thurber, New Yorker, Feb. 4, 1939, "The Fairly Intelligent Fly"
There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.
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Orville Wright
No flying machine will ever fly from New York to Paris ... because no known motor can run at the requisite speed for four days without stopping.
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Sir Walter Raleigh
All men are evil and will declare themselves to be so when occasion is offered.
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