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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Quotes and Sayings - 199
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S. J. Perelman
Their the waiters' eyes sparkled and their pencils flew as she proceeded to eviscerate my wallet - pt, Whitstable oysters, a sole, filet mignon, and a favorite salad of the Nizam of Hyderabad made of shredded five-pound notes.
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Henry Bromel
After my recent brush with voicelessness, I thought I'd share with you a few thoughts about speech. Don't take it lightly my friends. If music is the pathway to the heart as Voltaire suggested, then speech is the pathway to other people. Live in silence and you live alone.
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Miguel de Cervantes
It is a true saying that a man must eat a peck of salt with his friend before he knows him.
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Jimmy Breslin
Rage is the only quality which has kept me, or anybody I have ever studied, writing columns for newspapers.
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Paul Klee
A single day is enough to make us a little larger.
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John F. Kennedy
The American, by nature, is optimistic. He is experimental, an inventor and a builder who builds best when called upon to build greatly.
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George Bernard Shaw
Hegel was right when he said that we learn from history that man can never learn anything from history.
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Lenny Bruce
There are no dirty words, only dirty minds.
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Bertrand Russell
Patriots always talk of dying for their country and never of killing for their country.
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F. Hansen
War will cease when men refuse to fight.
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Albert Schweitzer
In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
I call architecture frozen music.
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