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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Silly Random Funny Quotes - 72
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Alexander Hamilton Stephens
It was no Insurrection or Rebellion, or even Civil War in any proper sense of these terms... The war... was a war between States regularly organized into two separate Federal Republics... In the beginning, and throughout the contest, the object of the 'Confederates' was to maintain the separate Sovereignty of each State, and the right of self-government, which that necessarily carries with it. The object of the 'Federals,' on the contrary, was to maintain a Centralized Sovereignty over all the States on both sides. This was the fundamental principle involved in the Conflict, which must be kept continually in mind.
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Edwina Currie
The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is Don't screw around, and don't smoke.
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Anonymous
There are no traffic jams when you go the extra mile.
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Fay Weldon
If you do nothing unexpected, nothing unexpected happens.
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So I Married an Axe Murderer
Charlie Dad, how can you hate The Colonel Stuart Because he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes ya crave it fortnightly, smartass
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Mark Twain
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
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Clive Staples Lewis
When we lose one blessing, another is often, most unexpectedly, given in its place.
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Thomas Jefferson
It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.
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Russell M. Nelson
We were born to die and we die to live. As seedlings of God, we barely blossom on earth we fully flower in heaven.
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Maya Angelou
In order to be profoundly dishonest, a person must have one of two qualities either he is unscrupulously ambitious, or he is unswervingly egocentric.
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Thomas Jefferson
When angry, count ten before you speak if very angry, an hundred.
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Seneca
Be silent as to services you have rendered, but speak of favours you have received.
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