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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Clever Random Funny Quotes - 88
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Luke 962 Bible
And Jesus said unto him, 'No man, having put his hand to the plough, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.'
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Stewart Brand
Once a new technology rolls over you, if your're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road.
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Daniel Webster
A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures.
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Ogden Nash
The Preacher, the Politicain, the Teacher, Were each of them once a kiddie.
A child, indeed, is a wonderful creature.
Do I want one? God Forbiddie!
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Jane Austen
It will, I believe, be everywhere found, that as the clergy are, or are not what they ought to be, so are the rest of the nation.
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Seneca
Live with men as if God saw you converse with God as if men heard you.
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Douglas Noel Adams
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
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Demosthenes
He who confers a favor should at once forget it, if he is not to show a sordid ungenerous spirit. To remind a man of a kindness conferred and to talk of it, is little different from reproach.
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Charles Dudley Warner
It is one of those beautiful compensations of this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.
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John Ruskin
Say all you have to say in the fewest possible words, or your reader will be sure to skip them; and in the plainest possible words or he will certainly misunderstand them.
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Brigitte Bardot
It is better to be unfaithful than to be faithful without wanting to be.
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Victor Hugo
Winter is on my head, but eternal spring is in my heart.
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