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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 99
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Mark Twain
The rule is perfect in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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Oprah Winfrey
Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life.
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Euripides, Alexander
Waste not fresh tears over old griefs.
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Terry Goodkind, "Stone of Tears"
And yesterday he would have killed me to get to his foe. But now we serve each other. Only a fool walks into the future backward.
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Jerry Maguire
Jerry I will not rest until I have you holding a Coke, wearing your own shoe, playing a Sega game *featuring you*, while singing your own song in a new commercial, *starring you*, broadcast during the Superbowl, in a game that you are winning, and I will not *sleep* until that happens.
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Ayn Rand, Atlas Shrugged
Honesty is the recognition of the fact that the unreal is unreal and can have no value, that neither love nor fame nor cash is a value if obtained by fraud.
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Author Unknown
One should be more concerned about what his conscience whispers than about what other people shout.
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Oscar Wilde
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
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Rudyard Kipling
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew to serve your turn long after they are gone, and so hold on when there is nothing in you except the will which says to them 'Hold on'
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Martin Luther King, Jr.
If a man is called to be a streetsweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted, or Beethoven played music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great streetsweeper who did his job well.
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John Ruskin
We may live without her, and worship without her, but we cannot remember without her. How cold is all history, how lifeless all imagery, compared to that which the living nation writes, and the uncorrupted marble bears
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Oswald Mosley
Great men of action ... never mind on occasion being ridiculous in a sense it is part of their job, and at times they all are. A prophet or an achiever must never mind an occasional absurdity, it is an occupational risk.
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