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A random selection of fabulous funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.

Clever Random Funny Quotes - 98

Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Think only of the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure.


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Ralph Novak

Reading this book is like waiting for the first shoe to drop.


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Gore Vidal

Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.


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Richard Feynman, Letter to Koichi Mano, February 3, 1966

The worthwhile problems are the ones you can really solve or help solve, the ones you can really contribute something to.


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Martin Luther King, Jr.

I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something he will die for, he isn't fit to live.


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Walter Lippmann

Where all men think alike, no one thinks very much.


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Mark Twain

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining, but wants it back the minute it begins to rain.


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Ramayana

Blow O wind to where my loved one is. Touch him and come touch me soon. I'll feel his gentle touch through you and meet his beauty in the moon. These things are much for the one who loves. One can live by them alone that he and I breathe the same air and that the Earth we tread is one.


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Antoine De Saint-Exupery

The aeroplane has unveiled for us the true face of the earth.


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George Bernard Shaw

While we ourselves are the living graves of murdered beasts, how can we expect any ideal conditions on this earth?


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Sovereign

The forces of good and evil are working within and around me, I must choose, and in a free will universe I do have a choice.


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William Ralph Inge

The happiest people seem to be Those who have no particular cause for being happy Except that they are so.



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