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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Humorous Random Funny Quotes - 95
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A.J. Liebling
Freedom of the press is limited to those who own one.
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Marquis de Vauvenargues
To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.
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Lyndon B. Johnson
I won't have you electioneering on my doorstep. Every time you get in trouble in Parliament you run over here with your shirttail hanging out. (To Prime Minister Harold Wilson)
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Ogden Nash
Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long.
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Bill Cosby
Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home.
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Kahlil Gibran
The significance of a man is not in what he attains, but rather what he longs to attain.
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Miguel de Cervantes
There is a remedy for all things but death, which will be sure to lay us out flat some time or other.
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Adlai Ewing Stevenson
There was a time when a fool and his money were soon parted, but now it happens to everybody.
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Scott Adams, Dilbert
Technology: No Place for Wimps!
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W.R. Wallace
The hand that rocks the cradleIs the hand that rules the world.
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Mother Theresa
What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.
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Sebastian R. N. Chamfort
The most wasted day of all is that during which we have not laughed.
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