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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Amusing Random Funny Quotes - 117
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Isodore Duncan
What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.
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Lady Duff-Gordon
Put even the plainest woman into a beautiful dress and unconsciously she will try to live up to it.
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Dan Quayle
Welcome to President Bush, Mrs. Bush, and my fellow astronauts.
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Child Age 15
I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life
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Michelangelo Buonarroti
If people only knew how hard I work to gain my mastery, it wouldn't seem so wonderful at all.
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Gary Collins
We can try to avoid making choices by doing nothing, but even that is a decision.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.
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J. D. Salinger
If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.
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Carl Jung
As far as we can discern, the sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
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Bertolt Brecht
Why be a man when you can be a success?
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Alan Holbrook
Women and cats do as they damned well please, and men and dogs had best learn to live with it.
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George Carlin
I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that I do is the longest sentence?
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