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A random selection of fabulous
funny quotations from famous writers throughout history. From our database of over
hilarious 100,000 funny quotes.
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Funniest Random Funny Quotes - 39
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
Who so would be a man, must be a nonconformist.
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Marie Dressler
What a wretched lot of old shrivelled creatures we shall be by-and-by. Never mind- the uglier we get in the eyes of others, the lovelier we shall be to each other that has always been my firm faith about friendship.
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Sir Winston Churchill
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
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Peter Cochrane, Head of BT Labs UK taling about the internet - November 2000
The world is divided into two kinds of people, those who spend a great deal of time saving money, and those who spend a great deal of money saving time.
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W. H. Auden
Some books are undeservedly forgotten none are undeservedly remembered.
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William Gladstone
We look forward to the time when the power to love will replace the love of power. Then will our world know the blessings of peace.
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Igor Stravinsky, In Observer 8 Oct. 1961
My music is best understood by children and animals.
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Edward Bulwer-Lytton
When people have no other tyrant, their own public opinion becomes one.
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Rita Rudner
I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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W. Clement Stone
Success is achieved and maintained by those who TRY, And keep TRYING. Where there is nothing to lose by TRYING, And a great deal to gain if SUCCESSFUL, By all means, TRY. DO IT NOW
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Seneca
Toil to make yourself remarkable by some talent or other.
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Buddha
The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
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